1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly
answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are
run
over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by
proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with
Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that
when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

The Washington Post‘s Style Invitational also asked readers to take any
word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing
one letter, and supply a new definition.  Here are this year’s winners:

1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows
little sign of  breaking down in the near future.

2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose
of
getting laid.

3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

4. Giraffiti   (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn’t get it.

6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running
late.

7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease.

9. Karmageddon (n): it’s like, when everybody is sending off all these
really bad vibes, right?  And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s
like, a serious bummer.

10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.

11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter
when they come at you rapidly.

13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.

14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your
bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in
the fruit you’re eating.

And the pick of the literature:

16. Ignoranus (n): A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.

 thank you – Andre

http://www.rollingstone.com/news/story/15137581/the_record_industrys_decline/2

Thanks,
James D.

here’s a quick list of what can help. of course it’s your site. do as you may so you are happy with it.

full contact info:
a contact name
full mailing address
a phone number
a fax number (get a free one from efax.com it comes to you as e-mail)
a properly working e-mail address that is always checked
any other links ( myspace, pure volume, youtube, friendster, sonicbids, etc…)
YOUR PRESS KIT
Stage Plot and input list
if you have management
if you have a booking agent
street team
any other supporters or important contact info you want your fans to have (for example if your involved in a charity)

shows/events page:
listing venue info – full address, phone number, website (if they have one or whatever online page they use)
show time – this is tricky if you play at midnight but say doors 8pm i may never want to see your band if i have to sit through 4 other bands i didn’t want to see or didn’t know was playing.
cost
age – some places are 21+ some are 18+

bio:
let’em know who you are. briefly where you came from, keep it simple not too much

media:
however you choose to call it some pics, some samples of music, and some video is fun. video is really becoming the future. you can create a youtube page and very easily copy the code to show your video on any of your various band related web pages

news/press/blog:
anyone that reviews your music, any sort of blurbs, a great way to keep fans connected let’em know what’s going. they can also interact with you if you choose the blog method

merch/discography/catalog:
you can start by using paypal to sell some stuff, maybe as you move up a bit in your progress as an artist. GET INTO digital download, there are a lot of avenues for this (we’ll cover some later)

links:
my favorite. link exchange. you will put their link on your page if they do the same. simple.  if you have fellow artists maybe one of their fans may goto your page. let’s call a it a referral. worth it. it also can help in some search engines.

ON EVERY PAGE HAVE A WAY FOR folks to sign up for a mailing list or subscribe to your blog so they can’t get updates on what you are doing or where you are playing

 special note:  don’t make it to busy. if your site is busy, packed with too much content, scattered, doesn’t have a good flow – its going to turn people off and not really keep fans connected with you and your music. its more about them than its you. we will breakdown the parts of the site in future blogs. remember too we can help with your site give you some feedback and recommendations just let us know.

here is a great example – http://themotet.net/

www.rkmmusic.com

One of the highlights of this session, however, was my introduction to keyboardist, Leon Gruenbaum. As he was setting up his gear for the session, I expected nothing more than him playing keys, synths and sounds. What he played was called a Samchillian tiptiptip Cheeepeeeee. WTF? Right? I didn’t know it’s name until I researched it on the web. It is an ergonomic computer keyboard that triggers midi notes. You have to hear it. When you hear Graham’s record you’ll wonder “who’s playing all those notes on the keyboard really fast?” It’s Leon and his Samchillian. I found this short video of him explaining how it works. Watch it. It’s very cool. I’m still trying to figure it out.

http://www.samchillian.com/mp3/samchilliandemodd.mov

-James D.